Beware of Becoming a Professional Online Dater
October 30, 2009 by joetracy · Leave a Comment
By Joe Tracy, lead visioneer of the DateLists.com Online Dating Directory
Every year, hundreds of thousands of people find their “perfect match” through online dating services. And every year hundreds of thousands more become discouraged from their experiences. One of the contributing factors to those who have problems with online dating is the emergence of the “professional online dater”, a term coined by Online Dating Magazine to describe a person who acts serious about finding someone, but without the intention of taking any date or relationship “too seriously” because the next match “may be better.”
A professional online dater usually possesses three or more of the following habits:
> Communicating with more than six people at the same time.
> Member of three or more online dating services at the same time.
> Relists profile within 24 hours of a relationship breakup.
> Lets several communications just “end” in order to put time into new communications.
> Checks messages and dating services several times a day.
> Always believes that the next match “may be better”.
> Several times a year will have more than one date, with different people, set up in a week.
> At the first sign of trouble in a potential relationship, lets things break off to return to online dating.
> May hide profile, but doesn’t delete it, when steadily dating one person.
> When returning from a date, immediately checks mail for new messages from others.
Generally, a person doesn’t consciously say “I want to become a professional online dater” then pursue it as a life goal. It is something that develops as a result of the person’s online dating experiences. He/she sees how “easy” it is to get a new date and is introduced to new faces virtually daily. Before the person knows it, he/she is communicating with half a dozen (or more) people at the same time. When a date is arranged with one person there are still six prospects waiting in the person’s Inbox when he/she returns from the date. This, in turn, starts to develop a subconscious mentality that the next person may be “better,” therefore it is easier to leave a relationship or dating experience at the first sign of trouble rather than work through those problems.
A professional online dater will generally ‘hide’ a profile versus deleting it when entering into an exclusive dating relationship. Subconsciously, the person isn’t truly giving his or her 100% to the relationship because they have formulated an easy escape route back to the planet of dates.
Professional online daters, without realizing it, are having a negative effect on the people they come in contact with during their expeditions. For example, a professional online dater may be writing seven people at the same time, when another new interesting prospect shows up. In turn, the professional online dater allows communication with one (or more) of the other seven people to suddenly stop, leaving that person without answers and wondering, “where did he/she disappear to?” The other problem professional online daters bring to online dating is their lack of true commitment. They may have three, four or even more relationships a year. The relationships are generally short-lived and the professional online dater has a new date lined up (with someone new he/she met online) within several days of a breakup.
A person who possesses three or more traits of a professional online dater may not want to admit that he/she is a professional online dater, but doing so is the first step to solving the problem. Other steps to solving the problem are:
> Completely delete your profile(s) when entering into a relationship. There’s no looking back, only forward.
> Commit yourself to your relationship with a strong determination to work through the problems. Working through issues in a relationship is what helps people to grow. Running away is not the solution.
> If you stop communicating with someone, don’t do it cold turkey. At least send that person a polite note so that he/she knows why. The person will respect you more for this.
> Find one online dating service that you like and stick with it. This isn’t a game to see how many new people you can communicate with. Every person you communicate with is a real person with real feelings. Don’t lead them on.
> Only communicate with a small number of people at a time.
> Don’t fall into the mentality of “the next one might be better.” Instead, focus on the person you are with and know that they are “the best”. Then make it work.
Professional online daters unintentionally hurt many people during the course of their “adventure”. But perhaps what’s worse is that professional online daters hurt themselves because they never learn to work through relationship issues that produce long-term relationship success. Luckily, with determination, professional online daters can change and when they put the same intense focus on a relationship (like they did with online dating) then the relationship generally turns into an amazing and long-lasting experience. And that produces another success story from two people who met online.
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Joe Tracy is the lead visioneer of the new DateLists.com Online Dating Directory, a directory and reference resrouce for online daters.
This article is copyright and may not be republished. Used with permission.
Impress With Your Online Dating Profile Photo
October 17, 2009 by KimLance · Leave a Comment
By Kim Lance, Associate Publisher of Online Dating Magazine
If you think that your choice of photo to associate with your online profile doesn’t really matter, think again. The fact is the profile photo is one of the main factors in determining whether an online dater will give your profile a second look. And if you were thinking about not associating a photo with your profile, don’t expect to get any responses. Many online daters specify their searches through online dating profiles to only show results of people with photos. The online dating profile photo is a vital component in determining your success in the world of online dating.
Your gut reaction may be to put up the best picture you have of yourself when choosing your photo for your online dating profile. It is understandable that you would want to make yourself look as attractive as possible online…after all, you are looking for a date right? Well, it might be a better idea to pick a profile that is a little more representative of how you really look, not how you wish you looked.
As mentioned above, the profile photo is one of the main things that convince a man or woman to approach another as a potential match online. If you put up a photo that does not accurately represent how you really look (your photo is several years old, you have gained 20 lbs since your photo was taken, or your photo has been altered to make you look more attractive) your date will inevitably get the wrong impression of how you look. You run a high risk of disappointing your date and developing trust issues right off the bat when you meet in person and look quite a bit different than he or she was expecting.
At the same time, make sure your photo is both realistic and flattering. Even though you don’t want to give an inaccurate impression about how you really look, remember, you are still trying to get a date. Don’t post a picture in your online dating profile of the time when you were four months overdue for a haircut or the day you forgot to put on make-up. Ask a friend or two which photos of you bring out your best qualities while still giving a realistic impression of what you look like on a good day.
If you have the option to put up multiple photos of yourself, do so. For your main profile photos it is probably best to get a nice head and sholder shot so that your profile browsers can get a good sense of what you look like. But, take advantage of the multiple photo option by using it as an opportunity to show off some of your more unique features and personality traits. Choose photos that show you having fun, participating in outdoor activities, or posing in beautiful natural settings.
Additional Online Dating Profile Photo Tips
- Don’t put up photos of you with other people. The person browsing your profile may not know which person you are and may be more attracted to the person posing with you.
- Make sure you are smiling in your photo. You want to give a potential match the impression that you are a happy person ready to start a happy and positive relationship.
- Don’t post photos that reveal personal information about your work or living space. If you post a picture of you standing in front of your house with the address showing a sign to your office building, you may be revealing more information to online dating members than you wanted to. Keep your photo as anonymous as possible.
- Keep in mind what you want to portray to others when choosing your photo. Don’t put up pictures of you drinking or drunk, flashing the camera, or flipping the bird if you are looking for a serious romantic relationship.
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Kim Lance is the Associate Publisher of Online Dating Magazine, an Internet publication covering online dating through news, reviews, experiences, interviews, and articles.
This article is copyright and may not be republished. Used with permission.
Is Online Dating a Good Choice for You?
October 9, 2009 by KimLance · Leave a Comment
Online dating has quickly become the number one choice for singles to meet people to date. The online dating industry has been continually growing in popularity and for good reason. If you are on the fence about whether to try out online dating as a way to find romance, consider these five positive reasons why using an online dating service might be a good choice for you.
1. Greater Choice
A single utilizing an online dating service has a better choice of potential matches than a single using more traditional dating methods like the local bar or coffee shop. With online dating you are allowed to browse through several profiles looking for that special someone. When you head to the corner coffee shop you only have a chance of meeting a handful of single people, and sometimes never meet anyone at all. With online dating you have greatly increased your chances of finding someone interesting.
2. Get What You Want
Many online dating services allow you to search through profiles based on certain key phrases or through a filtering process. By only looking through profiles that have the word “Christian” or “sports fan” in them, you have an increased chance in finding someone that shares your views and interests and eliminated those that don’t. When you meet a man or woman at a bar, you have no way of telling right off the bat if they are Christian or Atheist, a San Diego Charger’s fan or if they think that football is a violent sport. By using search functions and filtering on online dating services to identify profiles of potential matches, you can eliminate the time spent looking through profiles of people that do not share your interests.
3. Personal Info Can Stay Private
A great thing about online dating is its anonymity. When initiating contact with someone you have been attracted to online, you don’t have to give out any personal information…not even your email address. You can take time to really get to know a person before giving out personal information like your phone number, unlike other forms of meeting people. If you meet someone at a singles spot, you are forced to give away your phone number in order to keep in contact, even if you have just met the person and don’t know enough about him or her to know if they have good intentions.
4. Fears and Embarrassment Can Be Reduced
If you decide to contact someone though email you can take the time to really plan out what you want to say to that person with online dating. If you see someone across the room and try to approach them, sometimes nerves and embarrassment can get the best of you. You may have planned out what you were going to say, but when you approach it all gets flustered coming out of your mouth. With online dating you can sit down and think about your email, read it over a couple times, and send it knowing that you have expressed yourself to the best of your ability. The social awkwardness that can come with approaching someone on the fly in person is virtually eliminated.
5. It’s a One on One Experience
At a bar, club, coffee shop, or other traditional singles meeting place, it is almost impossible to make a personal connection with someone you are interested in. There is active competition for attention at these social gatherings and a one on one interaction can be very hard to come by. With online dating it is personal right from the beginning. You communicate one on one in a private email conversation with the person you are interested in and are able to form a personal connection right off the bat, rather than compete in a room full of other single guys and gals all out for the same goal.
For singles fed up with the traditional dating scene, and looking for a change, online dating may be the way to go. You can meet more people with similar interests without sharing personal information and, once you find the perfect profile, you can form an immediate personal connection. It is certainly worth a try.
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Kim Lance is the Associate Publisher of Online Dating Magazine, an Internet publication covering online dating through news, reviews, experiences, interviews, and articles.
This article is copyright and may not be republished. Used with permission.
Impress Your Date – Dress for Success
September 22, 2009 by KimLance · Leave a Comment
By Kim Lance, Associate Publisher of Online Dating Magazine
You never get a second chance to make a good first impression. It’s true that most people make instant, often subconscious, judgments about someone’s personality based on the first few seconds of their first meeting. Because of this fact, it is vitally important to look and dress your best when meeting for a first date. Appropriate attire, good grooming, and fashionable style can really impress someone on a first date, and may be the make-or-break factor regarding how they would feel about a second date. Here are some tips to help you look your best when trying to impress.
Learn to Look Your Best
If you do not have an inert sense of style, you may need to do a little bit of research in order to find out what looks best fit your body type, complexion, and personality. A good way to find out what colors look best on you is to have a color analysis done. Visit a reputable spa or salon that can perform a color analysis on you and find out which colors work best with our completion. Based on the analysis, go out and buy some outfits that work within your compatible color scheme.
Another way to find out what outfits, make-up, and fashion choices look best on you is to keep track of what your friends, family, and co-workers are saying about you. If your best friend keeps commenting about how good you look when you wear a particular color, make note of that and wear that color on your date. If co-workers rave about your new haircut or outfit, it’s a good sign that that haircut or outfit is flattering on you and would be a good choice for a first date.
You can also take a friend that you consider to be stylish out shopping with you for your date outfit. It may also be a good idea to read through some fashion magazines to keep up-to-date on trends and purchase dating clothes based on recommendations. Make sure you wear your new outfit out in public before you go on the date to see what sort of reaction you get from your peers. Don’t experiment with something brand new on your first date.
Be Subtle – Less is More
Don’t go overboard when getting ready for your date. We all want to look our best, but nerves may cause you to go a bit too far with your make-up, clothes, or fragrance. Remember, subtle make-up that emphasizes your best facial features can make a better impression than trying to hide your flaws with heavy make up and bright lipstick or blush.
It is also important to go easy on the clothing accessories and jewelry. Nice earrings, a handsome watch, or tasteful necklace can help emphasize a person’s beauty and style, but heavy gold chains, rings on every finger, and gaudy bracelets can actually distract a date from recognizing your natural beauty.
When wearing cologne or perfume, don’t drench yourself in your fragrance! In order to avoid being overbearing with your fragrance, spray the cologne or perfume in front of you before dressing and then walk into the spray. This will give a subtle hint of fragrance without an overpowering aroma.
Dating Fashion Dos and Don’ts to Always Remember
Here are a few fashion tips you should always abide by when going on a date:
1. Have clean, nicely manicured hands, well-groomed facial hair, and a clean haircut.
2. Wear clothes that fit and flatter you, avoid anything too baggy (it could make you look fat or frumpy) and stay away from anything too tight or restricting.
3. Dress appropriately for the occasion, stay away from tank tops and sandals (even if it is your usual style) if you and your date are attending a dinner party
And here are some things you should avoid when dressing to impress on a first date:
1. Don’t wear brand new shoes or an outfit you are not comfortable in as new shoes have the potential to really hurt your feet if they are not broken in properly and, if you are continually adjusting your tie or collar because you are not comfortable in a suit, you will turn off your date.
2. Avoid heavy make-up and outrageous outfits, they take away from who you really are and your natural beauty.
3. Don’t try to be too trendy; you may not be able to pull it off. If you want to experiment with your look, do it before the date and get feedback as to whether or not the look works for you.
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Kim Lance is the Associate Publisher of Online Dating Magazine, an Internet publication covering online dating through news, reviews, experiences, interviews, and articles.
This article is copyright and may not be republished. Used with permission.
Free Online Dating Tips – Everything You Need to Know
August 2, 2009 by admin · Leave a Comment
With the advent of the internet comes innovative ways to meet your significant partner. Dating has evolved into online dating. The meeting and getting to know phase are usually done on the web via email or live chat sites instead of face to face. This kind of acquaintance has its pro’s and con’s. It can help to prevent you from dating someone you do not like or it can help you to get to know your potential partner first before pursuing commitment.
However, dating online does not always end up happily ever after. It is wise to be cautious and check out free online dating tips available. The internet offers tips that could help to ensure that your online dating is a success.
Among the popular tips you can find on the net have to do with setting up your dating profile. Online dating requires a participant to have a profile that lists biographies and other useful information to help people get to know you better. This profile should be completed and answered truthfully. This will help other people to decide whether or not you are a good match for them, so take the time to answer each question carefully.
Posting a good photo of yourself is also an important factor for online dating. Pictures should be current. As much as possible, post pictures that have similar angles so as not to confuse the person that is checking you out. Also, be sure that the photos you post are of yourself, not of your pets, house, or friends. Being honest about your appearance is a good start to an online dating relationship, when the time comes to meeting face to face, at least your partner will know what you really look like.
When meeting up with someone that you found online, be extra cautious. Even if you have been dating online for quite sometime, a person’s reaction and attitude can be very different upfront. It is safe to meet in public. Make it brief and if possible, ask a friend to come with you. Get a feel for the person you are meeting, try to decide if you are going to be compatible. Don’t be in a rush to reveal too many personal details about your self until you get to know your date very well, keep the thought in the back of your mind that there are many people who are doing this just to take advantage of you, let your new date prove otherwise.
As long as you exercise caution and common sense, online dating can be a whole lot of fun, you may end up finding your soulmate, who you’ve been searching for all those years, or you could find the passionate lover that was missing in your life, igniting the fire inside you that had all but burned out. Starting out on a new romance can be so exciting, like setting off on a new adventure exploring new places that you had so long dreamed of.
Online Dating Advice
July 26, 2009 by admin · Leave a Comment
The first thing you’re going to do after you have signed up at an internet dating site is to create your profile, which includes a good photo of your self and an appealing, but honest description of yourself. If you want to rise above the rest, you will write some personal attention grabbing headlines and maybe even some humorous stories about yourself to highlight the fact that you have a sense of humor and are definitely not a boring individual.
When you have posted your profile, it’s time to start searching for that dream date. You enter you requirements into the sites search engine and within a few seconds a good assortment of profiles will be presented to you.
Before you get to carried away with the profiles you are viewing there are some things you should consider before deciding on your dream date, look for qualities that appeal to you about the persons profile you are viewing, qualities that stand out in a less than flattering way.
When you get to the stage of contacting a prospective date there are some guidelines that should always be observed. Firstly, never give out too much personal information, such as your address or your financial details, remember that there are a lot of very unscrupulous individuals in cyberspace that will go out of their way to scam you. It is even unwise to give out your personal email address to someone in the early stages of contact, get to know them first through the dating site and wait until the chemistry is right before you take that step.
Avoid subjects like politics and religion when you are getting to know someone through online dating, other issues such as drugs, drinking and the prospect of having children can send a prospective date running for cover. Take time to get to know your new friend, after you have exchanged several messages with each other you will start to get to know that person and know from the feelings you are exchanging whether you are going to be compatible or not.
Compatibility is the fundamental necessity for a relationship to work. This is a real advantage for online dating, because you can really get to know a person through communication before actually meeting them in person. Remember that your perfect partner is not based on the way he or she looks, it is all about compatibility, how often have you heard of people saying that they have found their ‘soulmate’. A soulmate is someone who you meet and all the chemistry is just right, a friend and a lover all rolled into one.
Dating and online dating is all about finding that person who you really ‘connect’ with. Take the time to find that special person you have always been searching for and you will live happily for ever after.
Flirting Techniques – A Must Read
July 25, 2009 by admin · Leave a Comment
A key to finding a potential partner in life is to be able to know the right way to flirt. Flirting is not always bad. With the right technique and timing, flirting could very well help one achieve or get the person he desires.
Flirting is a way in which a person exhibits gestures that could give a hint of attraction toward the other person. As our current lifestyle dictates, flirting has became aggressive that is why most people shy away form it to avoid rejection. To compensate with this liberating show of attraction, some people react negatively especially to those people that is not their type. Sometimes the mistake is not with the person who does the flirting but with the flirting techniques used.
An effective flirting technique that works among both genders is to simply smile. Smiling makes the other person feel at ease. It helps brighten their day. When a person saw someone smiling, they may feel confident to approach you and who knows what will happen next.
Another technique that works well is the act of getting caught. When you see someone that gets your attention, make him notice you by staring. Be patient until the time the other person notices you. Almost always, it would not take long since our peripheral vision usually does the job. If the gesture works, that is if you get caught, smile for a few seconds before looking away.
Usually, when a person is attracted to the opposite gender, wholesome gestures are automatically changed to a more sensual approach. This flirting technique is shown through having a soft voice or sensual looks and definitely grabs the attention of the opposite sex.
Online Dating Is A Safe Way To Meet People
April 5, 2009 by admin · Leave a Comment
If you are looking for a safe, fun way to meet and date people, you may want to consider online dating. Online dating is gaining popularity and losing the stigma once attached to it. If you take your time and use some tools, you can begin dating in no time.
When you are dating online it is considered a safe way because you can gain some valuable information from a person before meeting them in real life. You often will have numerous conversations before meeting and you will be able to tell right away if there is chemistry or if you want to move on.
It is much easier to decline a dating invitation online if you do not feel a connection. You can also gain some good knowledge by a person’s profile. You will be able to tell if you have things in common and what their personal goals are before meeting them.
There are still some critics about the world of online dating and its safety. If you think about the traditional way of meeting someone which normally involves a bar and hanging out with a person you know nothing about, you can make your own judgments about which way is safer.
Online dating is quickly becoming the newest, greatest way to date and meet new people. There are many sites specifically geared for a particular population of people with similar interests. If you are a business person looking specifically for other business people you can find a dating site for you. Dating is a fun thing to do if you know the tips to be successful.