Online Dating and How do You Mend a Broken Heart?
December 12, 2009 by admin · Leave a Comment
To mend a broken heart is not as easy in practice as it is in theory, and I am certain that you are feeling the same as you read this, so I will stress that you should take this one step at a time.
Let me assume that you have just broken up with your partner, and you are understandably devastated. Well, I will ask you this, do you want your partner back?
For the purpose of this article I will assume that the answer is a resounding “Yes” and I will point out how you should take this ‘one step at a time’ rather than confuse the issue by witing about two entirely different topics. If you are contemplating getting your partner back, the first things you need to consider are:
1. Stop Trying!
2. Stop sending texts to him or her
3. Stop leaving “Ineed you” messages
4. Stop ‘accidently’ bumping in to him or her
5. Stop being demanding
Stop and think about those things for a moment and how you would feel if you were the one that had called the relationship off and how it would impact on you.
Possibly the best thing you could do is get out an old fashioned pen and paper, take a bit of time to write a thoughtful letter and even agree that the separation was for the best. This will show that you are not trying to be argumentative, but rather, you are trying to be positive in a negative situation and be philisophical about the separation. Show your ex partner that you are not looking for an argument or fight, but you are trying to make ammends for a soured relationship.
Show your ex partner that you really care and would like to give them a bit of time to think everything over and possibly open a new dialogue in the future.
As hard as it may feel at the time, always try to keep a positive attitude, remember the good times you had, but don’t dwell on them. It’s not as hard as you would think to mend a broken heart, just try hard to remain positive, forget about being bitter, that only breeds negativity and unhappiness. If friends offer support or advice, welcome it with open arms and take heed in what they have to say, most often the advice from a friend who’s ‘sitting on the fence’ can be the best advice you will ever get.
Click here to read a great book titled ‘The Magic of Making Up’
Have a Crush? Here’s How to Let Them Know
November 7, 2009 by KimLance · Leave a Comment
By Kim Lance, Associate Publisher of Online Dating Magazine
We have all experienced it… the butterflies in your stomach when you see him or her from across the room; the shortness of breath when you brush past your crush or stand close to him or her in the elevator; the increased heart rate when your arms lean against each other in the movie theater. These are all signals that you are falling for someone. Recognizing this is easy, but letting someone know your feelings is much more complicated. Here are a few ways to hint to your crush that you are developing feelings beyond friendship and to find out if they feel the same.
The Honest Approach
The easiest way is to take a deep breath and spill the beans to him or her directly. Just set a time where you can get your crush alone and tell him or her your true feelings and ask if they feel the same. You will be laying it all out on the line and possibly setting yourself up for immediate rejection, but it is the quickest way to get it all off your chest. This method takes a huge amount of self-esteem, however. If you are not a self-confidence superhero, perhaps a more subtle approach would be best.
Increase the Flirt Factor
A good way to feel out the possibility of a friend becoming more than a friend is to slowly become flirtier with the object of your affection. Smiling a lot, making lots of eye contact, an occasional wink and quick, private glances when in a social setting can give your crush subtle signs that you are giving them more attention than others. If you pay particular attention to your crush over other people it shows your crush that you have special feelings for him or her.
Get More Physical
Take any opportunity you can to reach out and touch your crush. No, I don’t mean invading their space and making them feel uncomfortable. Simple take opportunities to touch their arm or hand as you engage in conversation. Give your crush a hug when saying goodbye or greeting each other. Nudge them in a flirty way when joking with them and lean in close when they are telling you a story or secret. Increased physicial contact is a good way to drop hints that you would like to be closer to him or her, both relationship wise, and physically.
Be Plentiful With Your Compliments
Start complimenting your crush when they get a haircut or wear a nice outfit. This will not only make your crush feel better about themselves, but will also let them know you think they are attractive. Making comments like “you have such a great sense of humor” when your crush makes a joke or “you are so smart” when discussing an important issue is a good way to let your crush know you really like them.
No tactic is foolproof, and it may still require you flat out telling your crush your feelings if they don’t get the hint, but they could help you get a better sense of how your crush feels about you. With any of these tactics, it is important to read your crush’s responses. If they respond to your comments or actions by getting embarrassed or annoyed, chances are they don’t feel the same about you. If they respond to flirting with more flirting, it is a good sign they are crushing on you too.
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Kim Lance is the Associate Publisher of Online Dating Magazine, an Internet publication covering online dating through news, reviews, experiences, interviews, and articles.
This article is copyright and may not be republished. Used with permission.
Beware of Becoming a Professional Online Dater
October 30, 2009 by joetracy · Leave a Comment
By Joe Tracy, lead visioneer of the DateLists.com Online Dating Directory
Every year, hundreds of thousands of people find their “perfect match” through online dating services. And every year hundreds of thousands more become discouraged from their experiences. One of the contributing factors to those who have problems with online dating is the emergence of the “professional online dater”, a term coined by Online Dating Magazine to describe a person who acts serious about finding someone, but without the intention of taking any date or relationship “too seriously” because the next match “may be better.”
A professional online dater usually possesses three or more of the following habits:
> Communicating with more than six people at the same time.
> Member of three or more online dating services at the same time.
> Relists profile within 24 hours of a relationship breakup.
> Lets several communications just “end” in order to put time into new communications.
> Checks messages and dating services several times a day.
> Always believes that the next match “may be better”.
> Several times a year will have more than one date, with different people, set up in a week.
> At the first sign of trouble in a potential relationship, lets things break off to return to online dating.
> May hide profile, but doesn’t delete it, when steadily dating one person.
> When returning from a date, immediately checks mail for new messages from others.
Generally, a person doesn’t consciously say “I want to become a professional online dater” then pursue it as a life goal. It is something that develops as a result of the person’s online dating experiences. He/she sees how “easy” it is to get a new date and is introduced to new faces virtually daily. Before the person knows it, he/she is communicating with half a dozen (or more) people at the same time. When a date is arranged with one person there are still six prospects waiting in the person’s Inbox when he/she returns from the date. This, in turn, starts to develop a subconscious mentality that the next person may be “better,” therefore it is easier to leave a relationship or dating experience at the first sign of trouble rather than work through those problems.
A professional online dater will generally ‘hide’ a profile versus deleting it when entering into an exclusive dating relationship. Subconsciously, the person isn’t truly giving his or her 100% to the relationship because they have formulated an easy escape route back to the planet of dates.
Professional online daters, without realizing it, are having a negative effect on the people they come in contact with during their expeditions. For example, a professional online dater may be writing seven people at the same time, when another new interesting prospect shows up. In turn, the professional online dater allows communication with one (or more) of the other seven people to suddenly stop, leaving that person without answers and wondering, “where did he/she disappear to?” The other problem professional online daters bring to online dating is their lack of true commitment. They may have three, four or even more relationships a year. The relationships are generally short-lived and the professional online dater has a new date lined up (with someone new he/she met online) within several days of a breakup.
A person who possesses three or more traits of a professional online dater may not want to admit that he/she is a professional online dater, but doing so is the first step to solving the problem. Other steps to solving the problem are:
> Completely delete your profile(s) when entering into a relationship. There’s no looking back, only forward.
> Commit yourself to your relationship with a strong determination to work through the problems. Working through issues in a relationship is what helps people to grow. Running away is not the solution.
> If you stop communicating with someone, don’t do it cold turkey. At least send that person a polite note so that he/she knows why. The person will respect you more for this.
> Find one online dating service that you like and stick with it. This isn’t a game to see how many new people you can communicate with. Every person you communicate with is a real person with real feelings. Don’t lead them on.
> Only communicate with a small number of people at a time.
> Don’t fall into the mentality of “the next one might be better.” Instead, focus on the person you are with and know that they are “the best”. Then make it work.
Professional online daters unintentionally hurt many people during the course of their “adventure”. But perhaps what’s worse is that professional online daters hurt themselves because they never learn to work through relationship issues that produce long-term relationship success. Luckily, with determination, professional online daters can change and when they put the same intense focus on a relationship (like they did with online dating) then the relationship generally turns into an amazing and long-lasting experience. And that produces another success story from two people who met online.
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Joe Tracy is the lead visioneer of the new DateLists.com Online Dating Directory, a directory and reference resrouce for online daters.
This article is copyright and may not be republished. Used with permission.
How to Win Back an Ex Boyfriend, Even if He is Spoken For
October 4, 2009 by admin · Leave a Comment
Are you trying to find a way to win an ex boyfriend back, but you have found out that he is already dating someone else? Are you worried that things are getting way too serious with this other girl?
Well firstly, you have to stand back and take an objective view of the whole situation. True, he might be dating someone else, but remember, he has spent a lot more time with you. This history you have together will prove to be crucial when you are trying to win back an ex boyfriend.
Now, think about your past relationship with him. Was it really as good as you think it was, or are you really only focusing on the positive aspects of the relationship? If you really want to win an ex boyfriend back, you will need to do some soul searching and answer this question truthfully first.
After an objective examination of the relationship, you may figure out that some of your behaviour was at least partly to blame for the breakup. Now, granted, he probably contributed to it too, but the only thing you have control over is your own behaviour.
In your mission to win back an ex boyfriend, firstly you need to concentrate on improving yourself before you try to get back together with him. You need to find the demons that brought your relationship down and work out how to eliminate them. If you are successful with this, you have a much stronger chance for long-term success in your relationship after you win him back.
When you have found the new and improved version of your former self, get in touch with him and ask him if you can get together for a chat. Make this an informal meeting, like a coffee in a café with a nice atmosphere. Be cool with him and show him that you are doing fine by yourself, but wouldn’t mind trying to restore the relationship. Try to emphasise the benefits of a restored relationship, like all the good things you have going for each other
Once you’ve put your case out there for him to consider, take a breather for a while, give him a chance to absorb what you said and react to it. Bare in mind that he’s in another relationship right now, so he’s going to require some time to think about all this and work out what his feelings are about the whole situation.
Depart the meeting amicably and emphasise to him that you really hope he will think about what you have said, and hopefully decide to restore your relationship. If you follow this plan, it will not be long before you win an ex boyfriend back.